Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Welcome to Apps Anonymous.

Apps are healthy, they make me smile;
If Apps weren't around, life wouldn't be worthwhile
If you don't have an App, you really ain't lived
My apps are my love, and much love they can give!

Hi. My name's Fiona, and I’m an App-oholic!

My addiction came apparent to me not long after I'd purchased The Tooth Brushing App and spent around an hour cleaning the food off a virtual set of teeth. I knew they weren’t my teeth, but some how I couldn't stop myself falling into the trap of believing they really were dirty. I spent so long rubbing the imaginary food off the screen, it made me late for work. I didn't quite know how to explain this to my boss, so I lied and told him that I had problems with my own teeth; he didn't need to know whose teeth they really were and what in fact the problem was!

I know I'm not alone with this obsession; after all, who would they be making this rubbish for but us App-oholics. And I also know that I can work through my problem and will one day go through life without feeling the need to browse the 'Top 25 Apps' every half hour on my phone. It even got so bad once that I briefly toyed with the idea of changing my name from Fiona to Apple. I've since learnt that there is actually a Fiona Apple out there. Lucky cow, she probably doesn't even know the genius behind her surname. Apple....Apple Mac...Appsigale! That could work... Appsigale Jacobs?- This is how bad it's become. It took a long stern talking from my Vodaphone rep to help me realise that Appsiglae is a shit name, and I’d be better off leaving it as it is.

My mobile phone rep is my best friend. I speak to him every week. Nigel his name is. We have the best conversations, all of them Apps related. Sometimes he gets annoyed when he learns it’s me ringing again, I think he's just worried I may have discovered an App that he hasn't heard of yet, which might get him trouble, as he’s meant to be the one that talks about the newest Apps on the market, not me, the customer!

Everyone tells me I've changed so much since having the iPhone..Apparently Apps are all I talk about now. This is why I’ve come here today, to seek help for me to realise that there was life before Apps, and there can be life after. I'm not quite ready to give up downloading Apps yet though, I have however, given myself a limit of downloading just 5 Apps a week. But if I've worked particularly well then I secretly give myself a bonus App!

I'll keep ya posted on my progress! Until then, Appy Days!

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