This is something that really gets on my tits; when a punter walks in off the street and straight away mimics the actions of fighting their way through a crowded room, when clearly the room ain't crowded. Why do it?
Obviously the barmaid standing behind the bar knows the place is dead. Christ, they've been here all day; they don't need a prick like you high lighting this obvious fact. And anyway, what the hell are you doing with your arms? They're aimlessly flapping around, making you look like some kid swimmer that hasn't quite mastered the art of the breaststroke. You call that fighting? Jesus!
What's worse is when the idiot says, on top of his lame imitation, 'I'm fighting my way through the crowd, see?'.. What d'ya say to that? I find myself saying nothing, and grinning with a very tight smile. The pub being this dead is one of the main stresses of our working day; why joke about it? Maybe when you've got a pub mate, that's not doing particularly well, you'll see how fucking irritating it is, having someone walk in and making fun of the fact it's dead. It's as bad as someone walking in and saying out loud to the barman 'Blimey, it's busy in here, innit?'...snigger, snigger. What a lame arse thing to say. With loads of pubs being shut down, it's not exactly what a manager/publican wants to hear right now. And you'd be surprised how many times a week we have this being said to us.
But like always, we'll wear it, grin and bear it, let these morons think and share it.