Wednesday, 20 July 2011
The word psycho is defined in the dictionary as a person who is 'crazy or insane'. (This is the online dictionary, mind; the Oxford dictionary is much more detailed, I'm sure.)
However, if you look in the Backward Way Of Thinking dictionary, the term psycho is simply known as- 'A person that is just a bit odd’.
Now if you go one step further and look for the term 'alternative psycho' (which is a label usually given to relationship partners, parents and driving instructers), you'll find it refers to a person who means no harm, would never be violent but may often perform actions that come across as some what hostile, irrational and down right psychotic! This dictionary recommends that you do not get these actions confused for feelings of hate, disgust or despise.
For a 'normal' person, who is unaware of the traits of an alternative psycho, it may be difficult for them to understand the meaning behind their actions.
I've read the alternative psycho help guide, so I thought I’d share some passages from it with you; it may be of help for anyone that's experienced similar actions from a similar 'psycho'
Chapter 3; the act of yanking a quilt!
Ever had the quilt pulled off you at night?
What did you think it meant?
Maybe you thought the motive behind this act was to make you so cold, you froze to death? Or perhaps the pyscho pulled the quilt off in order to take a photo of you naked, with the intention of sending it to the Sun newspaper; thus, making a few bob on the side! Or, did this nutter want to show off their bed making skills whilst you remain in it? And if you end up in the wash, so be it...
No! Far from it...
I've read the quilt yanking chapter, and it actually says that this particular action of pulling the quilt off, in a fit of anger, is merely the unusual way of an alternative psycho saying "Listen darlin, let's talk. Let's talk now, because tomorrow is a new day and I don't want to start a new day with a negative discussion which could have been had the night before."
4am is not the best time to want this talk, I appreciate that, however I assure you, pulling the quilt of a person does not mean you're in danger; you've just got a long chin wag ahead of you, in which case, I recommend you have a large brandy and a couple of fags on the go.
Chapter 7; the act of hurling ones breakfast at the floor.
This to many will comes across as an act from a pyscho who is clearly spoilt, ungrateful and obviously unaware of a good breakfast when it's staring them in the face!
Wrong again! This psycho is fully aware of how delicious their breakfast is, and is taking a big sacrifice when slinging it on the floor; but by doing this, they are merely expressing an urge for change. This could be change of carpets, could be change of breakfast, but most likely a need for changing the current situation. Frustration can build up in a psycho's head, and talking sometimes isn't the best way of communicating. One resorts to food lobbing...Very strange but quite common amongst the 'alternative psycho'.
This here will be the last example I will give you from this help guide, as it's best to read the whole book yourself, it's quite a good read, you'll only find it in certain parts of Russia though, and it's not cheap, mind!
Chapter 11; Pick popping and name lopping.
This section looks at the reasons behind why a psycho chooses to speak ill of a partner's posture, psychical features or dress sense. The book simply says that if a psycho is reduced to making fun of these areas, it merely means they have nothing else worthwhile to put down. For clearly a person's posture can not be made fun of; a physical feature perhaps, but for this situation, 'this particular person' at which 'this particular psycho' was having a pop at, has no negative physical features, so therefore 'this particular psycho' is a bit of a tit, and has lost the argument straight away!
Alternative psychos are strange creatures, but one thing they have in common with 'normal' people is that they feel regret, and quite often wish to express this regret by saying sorry. Again, in similar psycho fashion, they will probably find unusual ways of saying sorry; helicopters with apologetic banners across the sky, cakes with smarties placed on the icing spelling out the 5 letter word, or even writing silly little blogs about psychos wishing to say they're sorry!! (I'm sorry!)
So that's that then, a little information about the alternative psycho. Might I add that I believe everyone has a little alternative psycho in them, and it's usually the stresses of life and work that bring them out. Go easy on these psychos, they're grumpy little fuckers but mean well really!
For anyone that wishes to purchase this book, email me and I’ll forward you the Russian link!